By Andy Chau
Soon, I will return to Isla Vista with only one goal in mind: to move out. Once everything is packed up and I am ready for my journey home, I will have basically ended my academic career. I would say the class of 2020 was reluctantly forced to “retire” or graduate early after only two years. No more late night library sessions, no more drunken runs at Freebirds or International, definitely no commencement and concerts on bucket lists. Everything is on hiatus until this virus is miraculously eradicated. How did 2020 become the first leap year to leap into BS?
A part of me is relieved that I can rescue the rest of my dust collecting belongings but a part of me knows I will long for IV for a long time. I guess I fell for the common pitfall of taking things for granted. As surreal as it is, I can’t believe I’m saying this.
I’m sad that I didn’t get to leave UCSB on my terms. The string of events were slowly becoming a separate chapter that defines the two years of my presence. I know it’s not too late and coming back as an alumni is always an option, yet this whole ordeal with the coronavirus has made it bittersweet. Despite the short duration, I had many aspirations to finish my journey with a bang. Now, I will be moving forward with plenty of “what ifs” and regrets about not doing enough.
While things won’t return back to a certain “normal,” I’m happy to know that there were at least a good amount of memories I can reflect back on. Besides, two years can fly by so it’s only fair to be involved! The more I think about it, the more I figure out how many experiences I will leave hanging. Likewise, I can’t control what’s beyond my capability. Maybe I can extend my college career by one more year, who knows (it’s expensive though).
Although this isn’t an official goodbye, I would like to dedicate my gratitude to the following: Alpha Phi Omega [Psi Chapter, Pi Class of Fall 19,’ and Jenny C. (my big)]; Kapatirang Pilipino (KP) [James H. (my big), TUF Fam]; Santa Barbara local photographers; healthcare + frontline workers; my parents; the UCSB Transfer Center; my best friend Michael; UCSB’s Davidson Library; and the entire IV community. Without them all, my college experience would have a lot of missing pieces. It would be absolutely boring but it was not. Obviously, I feel a need to finish what I started but I would rather be safe than sorry.
To UCSB, I have no clue where to begin. Over the past two years, it has been a literal roller coaster of character development and mistakes. It would be an understatement to admit that I wanted to drop/transfer out and experienced multiple panic attacks because I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life. I lost a part of my identity, became confused, dug myself a deep hole and slowly crawled my way out. The process wasn’t easy and for a while I felt constantly trapped. Did I fail? Yes. Was it painful? Indeed. Somehow, I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I fought everyday to redeem myself. The repetition of schoolwork and responsibilities challenged me but after every quarter, I stood firm. Santa Barbara, I haven’t scratched the surface of my potential. After all the suffering, I have much more to accomplish. For now, I will be content with ending it in June but I promise I will be back. Farewell UCSB, and until next time.